Some Things You Can't Learn By the Book
by storm101
Summary: The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man.    Frank Pittman, Man Enough :: Reid asks some questions on the philosophical implications of the concept of babies.


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**Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity - a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother. ~Rose Kennedy**

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The question happened almost out of the blue, during one of the blessedly slow days in the bullpen, when nearly everyone had paperwork to do. Perhaps later they would learn to give Reid a bit more paperwork, considering that some of his more… interesting questions came up when he was thinking.

"Do any of you guys think it's weird?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair with his hands folded under his chin and eyes unfocused.

Morgan and Prentiss exchanged glances. Which one of them was going to take the plunge this time and ask for details? Would Prentiss's curiosity or Morgan's impatience win out?

"Think what's weird?" Garcia asked from behind the genius, causing him to jump a mile. Apparently, neither. And Penelope's bewildering sense of timing takes the day!

Reid was halfway out of the chair before he dropped back into it with what was almost a pout, glaring at his fellow field agents for snickering.

"Come on, pretty boy, let us into that mind of yours… What's got you thinking this time?" Morgan laughed, picking up his pen to start writing again when Reid seemed unlikely to elaborate.

"Babies," he finally said, oblivious to the amused looks the others exchanged. "I mean, yeah, it makes perfect logical sense from an evolutionary and biological standpoint, but when you consider it philosophically, or, well, even consider it… I mean, this… tiny little _person _is growing inside of a woman-" he squirmed uncomfortably- "And it's feeding off of nutrients, and energy, and it's got to hurt, I mean, that much is obvious. Ankles, back, the pressure on the bladder as the uterus expands to contain a growing child, continual exhaustion, water retention, and then the actual labour, and the delivery, and, I mean, it's a little person!" His voice cracked. "Locke suggested that everyone is born with an entirely clean slate, the concept of _tabula rasa_, that impressions from everything they experience since they exit the womb makes a mark and furthers their education, and of course that's only the nurturing aspect of it. It's this tiny little life, that you've created, and it trusts you completely, instinctively, it's part of you and it relies on you entirely, and you have no idea what or who or how this little person is going to be when he or she grows up… You only get one shot, it's not like babies come with reset buttons or you get a practice round! Babies are just… …weird."

Prentiss stared for a moment when Reid finally seemed to talk himself out. "…I think you've succeeded in convincing me to never get pregnant."

"Or at least not to let you know," Garcia added.

Morgan just looked slightly amused. "No wonder you look at JJ like she's going to explode…"

Prentiss and Garcia shared dawning looks of understanding, while Reid just looked horrified. "No! Morgan, no, that's not it-"

"Yes, it is… Reid, JJ will be a wonderful mother."

"I'm not worried about her capability," Reid protested, looking offended that Morgan would accuse him of that. "I fully believe she will be! She's intelligent, very driven, very morally strong, and Will is completely head over heels for her and will help her and the child however he can…"

"So what's got you worried?" Garcia asked, trying not to smile.

"Nothing! It was simply a philosophical question, and I just wanted to know-"

"You'll be a fantastic father, too, Spence," JJ informed him casually, walking by towards Hotch's office, one hand resting on her back and rubbing in a way that suggested it was aching again. "In the round room, guys and girls, we've got a case."

Reid stared after her open mouthed, while the rest of the team tried very hard not to be amused. "How dead am I?"

"Say what?"

"How long was she listening?"

"Since I came in, sweetcheeks," Garcia said wickedly, prancing towards the briefing. "Let's get to work!"

Morgan clapped a hand on his shoulder with a grin, and Prentiss tried not to let her amusement show on her face as Reid sat stunned, before scrambling after them into the round room, still thinking deeply.

Reid was the only one confused and remotely surprised when, two weeks later, he was made the godfather for Henry LaMontagne. The rest of the team had never assumed otherwise.

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**Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone**

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**A/N: **I am not a mother myself. I am a young woman who recently turned twenty and am in my second year of college. This is my first attempt at a Criminal Minds fic, but... Well... I saw Reid's expression after the twelfth episode of season four, "Normal." They come back to the briefing room and JJ was there with Henry. Everyone was smiling, but Reid looked... bewildered. Happy, but confused by the concept of a baby. I sat down and this happened.

I'm not really sure whether to apologise or be proud... Oh well! Either way, please tell me what you think.


End file.
